A dozen reasons why vets
should not try to kill themselves
- From
someone who tried!
Dr Oliver Liyou BVSc (Hons1) MANZCVSc
(Eq Dent)
Introduction
Suicide is a
delicate topic to discuss at any time, and there appears to be a major problem currently
in our profession, leading to the statistics that a veterinarian is four times
more likely to commit suicide than the average citizen.
Whether you are a
veterinarian, veterinary nurse, work in a veterinary practice or institute, or
a member of your family does, I encourage you to read and consider the article
below.
I have written it
from my both my head and heart, to try to offer some ideas that may help
prevent others make the mistakes I have made in my journey called life. I sincerely
hope that it is not offensive, upsetting or misleading to anyone who reads it.
I am not a qualified mental health professional, but have received a
substantial amount of assistance from mental health professionals, and am
eternally grateful for the work they do, along with the wonderful support I
have received from my family, staff, friends and clients.
So please read on
for my list of 12 reasons why vets should not try to kill themselves:
1) We
are very good at it!!!
We are paid in our jobs to euthanase living organisms! From turtles, to horses
to lizards and birds, we can put things “to sleep” very well and spend a lot of
time in our training and careers focusing on removing pain from lives of our patients!
For
the general population, the statistics are that for every successful suicide
attempt, there are 20 who don’t succeed. That represents a “success rate” of
converting a suicidal thought to a suicide of 4.7 %. I am not sure what the
“success rate” for suicide attempts is for veterinarians? Could it be that we
are actually no more at risk of attempting suicide than the average citizen,
but just far more effective at carrying it out?
2) Devastation
to the family. This one is
self-explanatory, but should never be underestimated! No matter what the
reason, the feelings of devastation, despair, regret, guilt, sadness, loss,
anger, shame etc. in the family are
enormous. No family deserves to go through this!
If,
like me, you do not “succeed”, there is just as much pain in the road to
recovery as the pain you were trying to relieve through the action! Painful
emotions such as shame, guilt, regret, sorrow and loss are all abundantly
common! The road to recovery for you and your family will not be easy!
Should
you be affected by depression and suicidal thoughts, it is important to know
the potentially harmful and dangerous
effects on your mind that certain drugs may have. For example, in my case,
the concern of hurting my family had prevented me from acting on suicidal
thoughts literally hundreds of time before in my life, since the age of 10
through to 33 years old. But under the effect of SSRI antidepressants for the
first time in my life, my mood and thoughts became severely altered, and
suddenly the “seemingly logical advantage of suicide was presented to my
thought pattern, and I acted on that new and convincing belief”! Alcohol and illicit
drugs could also render you more like to act on suicidal thoughts, through
removal of inhibitions, so need to be avoided at all costs when depressed!
3) We should NEVER
let our subconscious mind start to apply to ourselves the common veterinary
advice that “the animals we euthanase
will be out of pain and in a far better off and happier place once we have put
them to sleep”.
One
experienced horse vet once said to me, “you know you are in trouble when you
start believing the bullshit stories you tell clients at times in trying to
simplify a situation!” The reality is that Fifi and Patch are just going into a
cold hole in the ground, and not up to fluffy paddocks in the sky where they
can play unconditionally with their friends and be eternally happy!
The above paragraph may sound crazy to you,
but it is hard for a sane minded person to understand the thought patterns of
someone who is about to kill themselves! I for one vividly remembered a clear
authoritative voice telling me to “just DO IT and then you will be able to be
an angel and be with your wife and boys 24/7 and look after them all the time
and forever, and no longer have to work so much and rarely see them! Just DO IT
OLIVER!!!!”
4) The cost
to the business you were working in is massive, due to the rapid onset of
the tremendous disruption, uncertainty in the clientele etc. It all often
results in a major downturn in turnover and thus more financial hardship.
Litigation is now a very real possibility with the
responsibility of work places to provide “safe” workplaces, both physically and
psychologically!
5) There
is no evidence that things will be better and less painful being dead! What
if you are sent to the burning fires of Hell? What if the kids who beat you up
as a kid and all the people you have been unkind to are waiting for you in your
next life? What is there is a pack of hungry lions waiting to eat you? Suicidal
minds are only assuming that they are going to escape the pain that is
hurting them, but there is absolutely no proof – ever!
Almost everything can be improved somehow no
matter what the problems are. Usually the problems we are worried about are
“First World Problems”, and their magnitude is often being amplified in our
depressed and anxious minds. In Australia, even with worst case scenario, we
still have food, a roof over our head, and the chance to rebuild our
relationships and businesses should they fail.
A wise man once told me, “We were born single and broke, and will be
buried single and with empty pockets, so anything in between is a bonus
really?”
6) No
one expects you to be perfect,
and as a veterinarian, you are likely to be a high achiever - who is known to
be at times to be their biggest critics! Be kind to yourself!
There are other more sustainable and proven methods to reduce the pain and anguish
and help guide you through the high risk period that WILL pass! e.g. talking to
a friend, going for a run (exercise is a powerful therapy and releases
endorphins), taking a holiday, seeking counselling, starting CBT course,
meditation, phoning the:
a) AVA Counselling Service 24/7 1800 337 068
b) Mental Health Line 1800 011 511
c) Lifeline 13 11 14
e)
http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au
f) Doctors Help Advisory Service in each state of
Aust. NSW 02 9437 6552
7) Remember that 20 per cent of society suffers from mental health issues, and that pets
are a very popular and useful therapy to help them with their health issues.
Thus a vet clinic is often a common
place for them to take their pets, especially when they are worried about
their beloved pet. So when you are being abused by an unreasonable client,
consider that it is often not so much about your inadequacies as a vet, as it
is their mental health “playing up” on them.
If you are being abused by a client, practice
the skill of “Ducking and dodging” their abuse and be pleased that you are intelligent
enough to not take it personally. But
you may need to set some boundaries for them after the event, as it is neither
pleasant nor acceptable, especially if it recurs!
8) Even the most solid personal relationships are likely to come under severe strain and
possibly fail sooner or later. As a
veterinarian, you have acquired many life skills and attributes that will make
you attractive as a long term partner should your current partner decide that
having a vet as a partner is no longer for them!
Should you attempt suicide, with relationship
break down as a contributing factor, and survive, then the chances of
resurrecting the relationship, or convincing someone else to “take you on” will
be far less than had you got help before and thus prevented the suicide
attempt.
The
past does not equal the future, so long as you take notice to not keep making
the same mistakes with your new partner. And remember that you need to work
hard at your relationship - just as you do with your career, physical health,
business etc., should you want to build a great long term relationship that you
can rely on and enjoy.
And
always remember if you “get dumped” there are always plenty more fish in the sea! Delays in finding the right
partner never means it will not happen! So be patient and focus on being happy,
healthy, energetic, going forward etc.,
and you will become more attractive to others than you could ever dream of!
Remember
that happiness comes from within and
relying on a partner for your happiness is doomed to fail!
9) If
you survive the suicide attempt
(possibly less likely being a veterinarian):
a. You may
reduce your future employability as
a vet or any other jobs should you attempt suicide and survive. It is not a good thing to have on your “reputation’s
CV”!
b. You will struggle to get a gun licence if you have suicide attempt
in your history! Not a big problem, unless you want to start shooting, or buy
your kids an air rifle as I did! J
c. Your income insurance may not pay out for
loss of income, as they often have a question in their application form, “Have
you ever been stressed, anxious or depressed?”
Even if you are not officially diagnosed with these conditions, if there
is ANY evidence of these that comes up in your medical history, they will may pay
you when you are not working in recovering from your attempt!
d. You will struggle
to get income insurance in the future. If you do, it will likely have
exclusion on mental health issues.
e. You may struggle
to attract employees in the short term, until you get “back on track” etc.
f.
You
will likely lose some clients
especially if they are personally upset or insulted by your actions.
g. Your new
lover may be suspicious, warned off, worried or anxious of you until you
prove that you are stable and on the mend long term.
h. You may carry substantial mental and possibly physical scars.
i.
Your
family’s scars are likely to be
equal to or even greater than yours, whether you survive or not! Like mine, they
may have gone through the horrendous period of wondering if you would survive, when
you were “peacefully sleeping”, oblivious to the magnitude of the stress of the
situation.
10) We are so, so lucky to live in Australia and not a third world country in turmoil
etc. No matter how stressed or depressed
you are, you should never ever forget to remind yourself of this fact! If you
think your life is bad, a lot of people living in the graveyard would surely
like to swap places! Never underestimate
the power of “stopping to smell the roses” and “stay positive at all costs – no
matter what!!! “
11) There is so
much better recognition, acceptance, understanding of mental health nowadays
than even 10 years ago. Whether you think you are vulnerable or not, you
need to learn about it! If it is not you who becomes affected, it is likely
someone close to you will – sometime in your lifetime! No one is immune to the
woes of being struck by and devastated by depression, anxiety and suicide!
I lost a personal veterinary friend, who had
been very successful in every aspect of his life, to a point of being so damned
busy that he couldn’t juggle all the balls anymore – he had become too popular,
and everyone demanded more and more of his time! He had visited me in hospital
when I was recovering from my single suicide attempt in 2005. I remember him
sitting by my bed, telling me that he had never thought of it, and could never
imagine doing such a thing! 2 years later, he was dead, having used the same
method I tried!
So if you find yourself climbing the career
ladder so “successfully”, that everyone wants you and only you, remember
to set up “safe havens” where you can enjoy some “you time”, have a laugh and smell the roses. And look after those who
matter most to you!
STOP
PRESS: Heads
Up was launched in May 2014, with a PwC report revealing that
Australian businesses receive an average return on investment of $2.30 for
every $1 they spend on effective workplace mental health strategies. www.headsup.org.au
The
research looked at the impact the mental health of employees had on their
productivity and the number of compensation claims lodged. Absenteeism, reduced
worker productivity and claims resulting from employees’ mental health
conditions such as depression and anxiety cost Australian employers at least
$10.9 billion a year.
The
report, along with other research released throughout the campaign focusing on
the attitudes of business leaders and employees, provides a compelling case for
businesses to get involved and introduce Heads Up strategies into
their workplaces.
The
campaign’s centrepiece is the Heads Up website, where
business leaders and managers can find out why they could be losing money if
they are not investing in employees’ mental health. They can also sign up for
practical advice about how to have a more mentally healthy workplace and they
can access, free of charge, a range of useful ideas.
The
Heads Up Action Plan
allows businesses to create tailor-made mental health plans on the website,
based on their priority areas. The unique mental health action plans are
accompanied by a suite of free resources.
There’s
also an interactive questionnaire on the site to help workers struggling with
depression or anxiety to decide whether they should tell their employer or
colleagues about their mental health condition. This is a personal decision for
the individual with no wrong or right answer, and it can be helpful to weigh up
the pros and cons.
12) We are so lucky
to live in an era where there is a lot less stigma about mental health,
thanks largely to the work of the health profession educating the media.
Politicians and sports stars “coming out” and admitting they need to take a
step back due to mental health issues sure has made it easier to step up and
admit to others that you have a problem and are taking steps to address it!
Australia has an increasingly strong support
system for Mental Health, with over 2500 psychiatrists and over 25,000
psychologists who you can access help and advice from.
However
I did get some good advice from a very successful veterinarian friend who had a
long history battling the “gremlins of depression”. He told me that it will
take some time, trial and error to find
the right therapist. His theory was that half of the mental health
professionals followed the path of mental health to try to sort themselves out,
the other half did it to help others! “You need to find a therapist from the
latter group! “ he told me!
I
saw no less than 4 psychiatrists following my suicide attempt, in two different
hospitals, and I really felt uncomfortable with all of them, as if they were
not interested or did not believe my words. And then I was recommended one in
Brisbane, who I felt “believed” me, and immediately my progress improved.
It
is with great relief now that I can have sessions
via Skype with this specialist doctor in Brisbane when I am in Grafton.
This will be especially beneficial to those affected in rural areas – where a
choice of highly qualified and experienced therapists is extremely limited.
In my case, in rural NSW, the combination of a
psychologist (not qualified to prescribe antidepressants ) giving me a piece of
paper with “Arapax” written on it, to “take to my GP and get a script”, led to
a serious mood disturbance eight days later that I was not warned about, and
almost led to me losing my life! All I was warned of was that it may give me
stomach upsets!!! L
There
is now more education on life balance
to protect and insulate us from the stresses of living in the age of ever
increasing standards of communications, continuing education, management etc.! It is great to see organisations such as AVA,
EVA, UVG, Deiderik Gelderman etc. all running lectures and seminars on these
topics. Ignore them at your peril!
We
now know more about avoiding the trap of
becoming a seriously good veterinarian, but being “penalised” in some way
through becoming too busy and thus overwhelmed. Once a certain level of
popularity is gained by a veterinarian, it can easily become a case of “the
wider you open your doors, the more clients come in, and the more staff turn to
you with their problems etc.!” So unless
you learn to say no, and/or develop and
implement systems to successfully manage and mentor your clients and staff,
you are doomed to fall from grace in some way, despite your having climbed “the
ladder or success!”
Remember that our lives and careers are a
journey and not a race!
It is a journey that has a path like the flight path of an airplane. Rough
winds and external forces may push you off the direct path 95 % of the time,
but so long as you don’t panic, and get back on track, you will eventually
reach your desired destination – calm, fulfilled and happy!
Oliver
and his 3 amazing boys at a footy game 2014.
